Post by salavea on Nov 15, 2007 11:32:50 GMT -5
Here are some Cowboy Jokes that have been Collected on ES throughout the years.
Joke # 1:
A woman in Dallas calls 911. When the officer answers the phone the woman is hysterical and tells the cop that a man has just broken into her home and she thinks he intends to rape her. The officer explain that they are just extremely busy at the moment and tells her "Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."
Joke # 2:
There is a Redskins fan, a Giants fan, and a Cowboys fan that got caught drunk in Saudi Arabia, where it is highly illegal to consume alcohol. They are all sentenced to be whipped 200 times. Luckily the whipper was a football fan and seeing as they were too, he gave each of them one wish. The Giants fan was first, he asked if he could have a pillow tied to his back to make it hurt less. But the whip broke through the pillow after like 20 whips and the Giants fan was in extreme pain. The Cowboys fan saw what had happened, so he asked to have 2 pillows tied to his back, but the whip again broke through. Last was the Redskins fan. The whipper said "You are a redskins fan, the greatest team in the world, you are allowed 2 wishes!" So the Redskins fan thought for a minute. "For my first wish, i want to be whipped 1,000 times!" The whipper was confused. "For my second wish, tie the Cowboys fan to my back!!!"
Joke # 3:
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!"
Joke #4:
Two guys from Dallas die and wake up in hell. The devil stops by to check on them and sees them dressed in coats, gloves and earmuffs, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asked them, "What are you two doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?!" The guys reply, "Well, you do realize that we're from Dallas, Texas. After our summers there, this is like a cold wave!" The devil decides that these two guys aren't miserable enough, so he cranks up the heat! The next day, the devil stops by again and there are the two guys again dressed in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. The devil asked them, "It's awfully hot down here! Can't you guys feel that?!" Again the guys answered, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we are from Dallas, Texas. We have suffered through the dog days of a Texas summer. This is like winter down here!" The devil gets really steamed and he decides to crank up the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming all over hell. However, when he stops by to check on the two men, he finds them in light jackets, grilling steaks and drinking beer! The devil couldn't believe his eyes. "Everyone down here is in absolute misery! You two seem to be enjoying yourselves!" The two men reply, "Well, as you know, we are from Dallas, Texas. This weather is like a fall morning during football season! So we thought we would have a little tailgate party!" The devil is so mad that he can't see straight! He decides that if the heat doesn't bother these two guys, he will go in the opposite direction. He decides to shut all the heat off in hell! The next day, the temperature is below zero. Icicles are hanging everywhere. People are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth! The devil smiled as he went to check on the two Texans. He finds them back in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. They were jumping up and down and cheering! The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't get it! When I turned the heat up, you were happy! Now it's freezing cold, and you are celebrating! What's wrong with you two?" The Texans looked at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't you know? If hell froze over, that must mean that the Cowboys must've got back to the Super Bowl!"
Joke # 5:
A body was found naked here the other day, and when the coroner arrived to examine the body. The police officer said to him “you’re not going to believe this one”. The coroner began his exam, he noticed an Eagles cap over the victim’s left breast, he lifted it up, jotted a few words on his legal pad and continued his exam. He then noticed a Redskin’s cap over the right breast of the victim he again looked under it and jotted a few more notes on his legal pad. Then the police officer said to him”what do you make of this”…pointing to a Cowboys hat covering the victim’s crotch. The coroner lifted it up, shook his for a few seconds then lifted it up again for a second look, about this time the police officer ask “what’s the problem” The coroner said I’m use to seeing A#@holes under Cowboy hats!
Joke # 6:
A boy is wallking near Fed Ex Field when he sees a man being attacked by a viscious dog. He finds a stick and charges the dog without any fear. He gets to the dog, slips the stick through the collar and twists really hard, breaking the dog’s neck and saving the man’s life. A news reporter for the Washington Post was close by and witnessed the whole event. He rushes over to the hero and tells him he wants to put this in the paper with the head line: “Redskins Fan Saves Man from Imminent Death”
The boy replies “I am not a Redskins fan.” Perplexed, the reporter asks “what kind of fan are you?” The boy replies “ A Cowboy fan!” The reporter decides on another headline: "Ignorant Redneck Ba$tard Kills Family Pet.”
Joke # 7:
Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle
Joke # 8:
There's a guy from Washington, DC (Redskins fan) driving from DC to Dallas, and a guy from Dallas (Cowboys fan) driving from Dallas to DC. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Redskins fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"
Likewise the Cowboys fan scrambles out of his car and looks at the wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Cowboy fan walks over to the Redskin and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals. The Redskin fan thinks for a moment and says, " You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else survived this wreck."
So the Redskins fan pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Cowboys fan, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our newfound understanding and friendship."
The Cowboys fan says, "You're damn right!" and grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half of the bottle the Cowboys fan hands it back to the Redskins fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Redskins fan twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."
Joke # 9:
So a blind man goes into a bar, he orders a drink, and after a while of sitting in the silence he leans over to the bartender and says "Hey, would you like to hear a Dallas Cowboy joke?"
Unbeknownst to the blind man he's actually in a Cowboys themed bar! The man next to him goes "Fella, before you tell that joke you ought to know that the bartender is a Cowboys fan, the bouncer is a Cowboys fan, and I'm a 6-5 260 Cowboys fan... what's more is that the man on your right is a Cowboys fan with a black belt in karate and the man to my left is a Cowboys fan who's a pro wrestler... so think about it real carefully fella, you still wanna tell that Cowboys joke?"
The blind man says:
"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it 5 times."
Joke # 10:
Q: what do u call a cowboy getting tackled upside down at mid field?
A: wishing upon a star for this victory...
Joke # 11:
There was a Frenchman, a Mexican, a Redskin fan, and a Cowboy fan sitting up on a hill getting drunk. The Frenchman tilts up his bottle of Champagne till empty, throws the bottle in the air, shoots it with his pistol, and yells
"Viva La France".
Just after that the Mexican finishes his bottle of Tequilla, throws it in the air, fires his pistol, and shouts "Viva La Mexico"
Just about that time the Redskin fan finishes his Budwieser, tosses the can on the ground, pulls his gun and shoots the Cowboys fan, and then says calmly "IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS"
Joke # 12:
A Eagles Fan, Redskin Fan, and a Cowboy fan go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the Eagles fan on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The Redskins fan on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then Cowboy fan in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
Joke # 13:
On a visit to the United States, the Pope is taking a boat tour of the Chesapeake Bay when he sees a man out in the water, dressed in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, and being attacked by a shark. As the Pope is giving the man his last rights, he sees a boat quickly approach with three men dressed in Redskins jerseys. When they reach the Cowboys fan, the Redskins fans shoot the shark with a harpoon, freeing the Cowboys fan. They then proceed to pull the fan and the shark into the boat and kill the shark.
Upon seeing this, the Pope yells to the fans, ?That is one of the most heroic things I have ever witnessed. I had heard that Redskins and Cowboys fans do not get along at all, but due to your expression of kindness towards another man, especially an enemy, I will ask God to give you all eternal peace and watch over you forever.?
As the Pope sped off, one of the Redskins fans in the boat turns to the others and says , ?Who was that?? One of the others says, ?That was the Pope, God?s right hand man on earth, so we should be honored to receive such a blessing.? Then the last Redskins fan asks ?Well that?s great, but should we throw this bait back in, or get us another Cowboys fan??
Joke # 14:
A Skins fan, a Cowboys fan, a Giants fan and an Eagles fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were jawing back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Giants fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Giants" and jumps off the mountain. The Eagles fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Eagles," and jumps off the mountain. The Redskins fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Cowboys fan of the cliff.
Joke # 15:
Q. How do you stop a Cowboys fan from drowning?
A. Take your foot off of the back of his head.
Joke # 16:
An Eagles fan walks onto a construction site looking for a job. The foreman
told him that he looked pretty stupid but he did need a laborer so he hired him.
. Later that day the Eagles fan asked the forman if he knew of a place he could rent a room. The forman told he was in luck, and that the port-a-john was availble. So the E-fan moves in. A week goes by and the Foreman noticed a TV antenea on the roof of the port-a-john. Next week there were
two TV antenea. So he asked the Eagles -Fan "why the hell do you need 2
TV antenea" ....... the Eagles Fan replied "I'm renting the basement out to
a Cowboys Fan"
Joke # 17:
Q. A smart Redskin fan, a very smart Cowboy fan, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny sit in 4 corners of a square room. In the center is a pot of gold. A bell rings, and they all take off for the pot. Who gets it?
A. The Redskin fan... cause there's no such thing as Santa Claus, there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny and there's no such thing as a smart Cowboy fan!
Joke # 18:
Every Sunday morning before the game, a Redskins fan sees the same Cowboys fan walking along the side of the road on the way to church. Every week, the 'Skins fan swerves his truck towards the side, coming close enough to scare the poor Cowboys fan, but never too close.
One day, the 'Skins fan sees the Priest walking along. He pulls over. "Father, what happened?" "My car broke down!" So the Skins fan takes the priest into his truck and drives towards church.
Sure enough, he sees the same ol' Cowboys fan walking and thinks "Oh no, I can't swerve like that with a priest in here!" So he decides to make it look accidental, he sneezes and swerves towards the Cowboys fan like always. He closes his eyes during the sneeze for a split second and hears a loud THUD.
He looks up and says, "Oh no! What just happened!"
The Priest says, "Don't worry, you missed him. But I got him with the door!"
Joke # 19 & 20:
Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Dallas Cowboys. (the other 6 are in jail)
Q: What's the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby?
A. Eventually the baby stops whining.
Joke # 21:
Did you hear Dallas went 12-4, I believe in 1994? Twelve arrests but only four convictions!
Also, they're changing Texas Stadium to natural grass. Dallas plays better on grass!
Wait, that's a mistake. Dallas now plays on dirt, not grass. Leon Lett smoked all the grass and sniffed all the lines!
Joke # 22:
Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common?
A. They both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Joke # 23:
Q. What do Cowboy fans and hemorrhoids have in common?
A. They're both a pain in the butt and never seem to go away completely.
Joke # 24:
Q: What's Jerry Jones biggest concern?
A: Does Bail Money count against the Salary Cap?
Joke # 25:
Q. What do you call a smart football player in Dallas?
A. The opponent.
Joke # 26:
Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.
Joke # 27:
Three cowboys fans were on their way home after watching their team lose another game. On the way, they came across a sheep with it's head stuck in a fence. one man said, "Man, I'm gonna get some of this."
He began to screw the sheep. He asked if his friend wanted to get some, and he said yes, and he started screwing it.
After he got done, he asked the other friend if he wanted some. The third friend said sure and stuck his head in the fence.
Joke # 28:
Question: Whats the difference between the cowboys and a bag of poop?
Answer: The bag
Joke # 29:
The Dallas Cowboys were practicing at Texas Stadium today when they noticed a white, powdery substance on the field. Practice was halted while the Controlled-Dangerous-Substance (CDS) squad was called in. The CDS squad concluded that the white substance was the goal line. The CDS squad assured the Cowboys that the powder wasn't anything to fear, and advised them that they won't be seeing it anytime this weekend
Joke # 30:
Q. How long did it take for Terrell Owens's Mom to take a dump?
A. 9 Months!
Joke # 31:
I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator, so now they want a coke machine.
Joke # 32:
Q. What's the difference between the Taliban and the Dallas Cowboys?
A. The Taliban has a running game!
Joke # 33:
Q: What do you say to a Cowboy in a suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
Joke # 34:
Q: Why does Texas Stadium have Astroturf?
A: To keep the fans from grazing during games.
Joke # 35:
Little Johnny was in his Kindergarten class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman.
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring in and took little Johnny aside to ask him...
"Is that really true about your father working in a gay strip club?"
"No" said Johnny, "he really plays for the Dallas Cowboys but I was too embarrassed to say."
Joke # 36:
A man is standing on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, threatening to jump. A preacher, who happened to be driving across the bridge at the time stops to try to talk him down.
"My son, don't do it. It's not worth it. Think of all the family and friends you'll leave behind."
The man replies, "My wife left me with the kids and my friends all have turned on me."
The preacher then says, "My son, you have a lot to be thankful for. You're alive. You have your health. You're able to walk."
The man replies, "I've been evicted from my apartment, I have a whole bunch of serious medical issues and I just can't take it anymore."
The preacher now starts to panic. He then says, "My son, the football season is just around the corner. Joe Gibbs is ready to turn the Skins around, Jason Campbell looks to improve upon last season and the defense is in line to bounce back from last year's struggles."
The man replies, "I hate the Skins. I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan!"
The preacher responds, "Well, then go ahead and jump!"
Joke # 1:
A woman in Dallas calls 911. When the officer answers the phone the woman is hysterical and tells the cop that a man has just broken into her home and she thinks he intends to rape her. The officer explain that they are just extremely busy at the moment and tells her "Just get the guy's jersey number and we'll get back to you."
Joke # 2:
There is a Redskins fan, a Giants fan, and a Cowboys fan that got caught drunk in Saudi Arabia, where it is highly illegal to consume alcohol. They are all sentenced to be whipped 200 times. Luckily the whipper was a football fan and seeing as they were too, he gave each of them one wish. The Giants fan was first, he asked if he could have a pillow tied to his back to make it hurt less. But the whip broke through the pillow after like 20 whips and the Giants fan was in extreme pain. The Cowboys fan saw what had happened, so he asked to have 2 pillows tied to his back, but the whip again broke through. Last was the Redskins fan. The whipper said "You are a redskins fan, the greatest team in the world, you are allowed 2 wishes!" So the Redskins fan thought for a minute. "For my first wish, i want to be whipped 1,000 times!" The whipper was confused. "For my second wish, tie the Cowboys fan to my back!!!"
Joke # 3:
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!"
Joke #4:
Two guys from Dallas die and wake up in hell. The devil stops by to check on them and sees them dressed in coats, gloves and earmuffs, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asked them, "What are you two doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?!" The guys reply, "Well, you do realize that we're from Dallas, Texas. After our summers there, this is like a cold wave!" The devil decides that these two guys aren't miserable enough, so he cranks up the heat! The next day, the devil stops by again and there are the two guys again dressed in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. The devil asked them, "It's awfully hot down here! Can't you guys feel that?!" Again the guys answered, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we are from Dallas, Texas. We have suffered through the dog days of a Texas summer. This is like winter down here!" The devil gets really steamed and he decides to crank up the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming all over hell. However, when he stops by to check on the two men, he finds them in light jackets, grilling steaks and drinking beer! The devil couldn't believe his eyes. "Everyone down here is in absolute misery! You two seem to be enjoying yourselves!" The two men reply, "Well, as you know, we are from Dallas, Texas. This weather is like a fall morning during football season! So we thought we would have a little tailgate party!" The devil is so mad that he can't see straight! He decides that if the heat doesn't bother these two guys, he will go in the opposite direction. He decides to shut all the heat off in hell! The next day, the temperature is below zero. Icicles are hanging everywhere. People are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth! The devil smiled as he went to check on the two Texans. He finds them back in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. They were jumping up and down and cheering! The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't get it! When I turned the heat up, you were happy! Now it's freezing cold, and you are celebrating! What's wrong with you two?" The Texans looked at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't you know? If hell froze over, that must mean that the Cowboys must've got back to the Super Bowl!"
Joke # 5:
A body was found naked here the other day, and when the coroner arrived to examine the body. The police officer said to him “you’re not going to believe this one”. The coroner began his exam, he noticed an Eagles cap over the victim’s left breast, he lifted it up, jotted a few words on his legal pad and continued his exam. He then noticed a Redskin’s cap over the right breast of the victim he again looked under it and jotted a few more notes on his legal pad. Then the police officer said to him”what do you make of this”…pointing to a Cowboys hat covering the victim’s crotch. The coroner lifted it up, shook his for a few seconds then lifted it up again for a second look, about this time the police officer ask “what’s the problem” The coroner said I’m use to seeing A#@holes under Cowboy hats!
Joke # 6:
A boy is wallking near Fed Ex Field when he sees a man being attacked by a viscious dog. He finds a stick and charges the dog without any fear. He gets to the dog, slips the stick through the collar and twists really hard, breaking the dog’s neck and saving the man’s life. A news reporter for the Washington Post was close by and witnessed the whole event. He rushes over to the hero and tells him he wants to put this in the paper with the head line: “Redskins Fan Saves Man from Imminent Death”
The boy replies “I am not a Redskins fan.” Perplexed, the reporter asks “what kind of fan are you?” The boy replies “ A Cowboy fan!” The reporter decides on another headline: "Ignorant Redneck Ba$tard Kills Family Pet.”
Joke # 7:
Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle
Joke # 8:
There's a guy from Washington, DC (Redskins fan) driving from DC to Dallas, and a guy from Dallas (Cowboys fan) driving from Dallas to DC. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Redskins fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!"
Likewise the Cowboys fan scrambles out of his car and looks at the wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Cowboy fan walks over to the Redskin and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals. The Redskin fan thinks for a moment and says, " You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else survived this wreck."
So the Redskins fan pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Cowboys fan, "I think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our newfound understanding and friendship."
The Cowboys fan says, "You're damn right!" and grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half of the bottle the Cowboys fan hands it back to the Redskins fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Redskins fan twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."
Joke # 9:
So a blind man goes into a bar, he orders a drink, and after a while of sitting in the silence he leans over to the bartender and says "Hey, would you like to hear a Dallas Cowboy joke?"
Unbeknownst to the blind man he's actually in a Cowboys themed bar! The man next to him goes "Fella, before you tell that joke you ought to know that the bartender is a Cowboys fan, the bouncer is a Cowboys fan, and I'm a 6-5 260 Cowboys fan... what's more is that the man on your right is a Cowboys fan with a black belt in karate and the man to my left is a Cowboys fan who's a pro wrestler... so think about it real carefully fella, you still wanna tell that Cowboys joke?"
The blind man says:
"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it 5 times."
Joke # 10:
Q: what do u call a cowboy getting tackled upside down at mid field?
A: wishing upon a star for this victory...
Joke # 11:
There was a Frenchman, a Mexican, a Redskin fan, and a Cowboy fan sitting up on a hill getting drunk. The Frenchman tilts up his bottle of Champagne till empty, throws the bottle in the air, shoots it with his pistol, and yells
"Viva La France".
Just after that the Mexican finishes his bottle of Tequilla, throws it in the air, fires his pistol, and shouts "Viva La Mexico"
Just about that time the Redskin fan finishes his Budwieser, tosses the can on the ground, pulls his gun and shoots the Cowboys fan, and then says calmly "IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS"
Joke # 12:
A Eagles Fan, Redskin Fan, and a Cowboy fan go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the Eagles fan on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The Redskins fan on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then Cowboy fan in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
Joke # 13:
On a visit to the United States, the Pope is taking a boat tour of the Chesapeake Bay when he sees a man out in the water, dressed in a Dallas Cowboys jersey, and being attacked by a shark. As the Pope is giving the man his last rights, he sees a boat quickly approach with three men dressed in Redskins jerseys. When they reach the Cowboys fan, the Redskins fans shoot the shark with a harpoon, freeing the Cowboys fan. They then proceed to pull the fan and the shark into the boat and kill the shark.
Upon seeing this, the Pope yells to the fans, ?That is one of the most heroic things I have ever witnessed. I had heard that Redskins and Cowboys fans do not get along at all, but due to your expression of kindness towards another man, especially an enemy, I will ask God to give you all eternal peace and watch over you forever.?
As the Pope sped off, one of the Redskins fans in the boat turns to the others and says , ?Who was that?? One of the others says, ?That was the Pope, God?s right hand man on earth, so we should be honored to receive such a blessing.? Then the last Redskins fan asks ?Well that?s great, but should we throw this bait back in, or get us another Cowboys fan??
Joke # 14:
A Skins fan, a Cowboys fan, a Giants fan and an Eagles fan were all mountain climbing together one day. As they were climbing up the mountain, they were jawing back and forth with each other over whose team was the best. When they finally reach the top of the mountain, all four are standing around when the Giants fan inexplicably says "This one is for the Giants" and jumps off the mountain. The Eagles fan, not wanting to be out done, says this one is for the Eagles," and jumps off the mountain. The Redskins fan then says "This one is for everybody" and pushes the Cowboys fan of the cliff.
Joke # 15:
Q. How do you stop a Cowboys fan from drowning?
A. Take your foot off of the back of his head.
Joke # 16:
An Eagles fan walks onto a construction site looking for a job. The foreman
told him that he looked pretty stupid but he did need a laborer so he hired him.
. Later that day the Eagles fan asked the forman if he knew of a place he could rent a room. The forman told he was in luck, and that the port-a-john was availble. So the E-fan moves in. A week goes by and the Foreman noticed a TV antenea on the roof of the port-a-john. Next week there were
two TV antenea. So he asked the Eagles -Fan "why the hell do you need 2
TV antenea" ....... the Eagles Fan replied "I'm renting the basement out to
a Cowboys Fan"
Joke # 17:
Q. A smart Redskin fan, a very smart Cowboy fan, Santa Claus, and the Easter bunny sit in 4 corners of a square room. In the center is a pot of gold. A bell rings, and they all take off for the pot. Who gets it?
A. The Redskin fan... cause there's no such thing as Santa Claus, there's no such thing as the Easter Bunny and there's no such thing as a smart Cowboy fan!
Joke # 18:
Every Sunday morning before the game, a Redskins fan sees the same Cowboys fan walking along the side of the road on the way to church. Every week, the 'Skins fan swerves his truck towards the side, coming close enough to scare the poor Cowboys fan, but never too close.
One day, the 'Skins fan sees the Priest walking along. He pulls over. "Father, what happened?" "My car broke down!" So the Skins fan takes the priest into his truck and drives towards church.
Sure enough, he sees the same ol' Cowboys fan walking and thinks "Oh no, I can't swerve like that with a priest in here!" So he decides to make it look accidental, he sneezes and swerves towards the Cowboys fan like always. He closes his eyes during the sneeze for a split second and hears a loud THUD.
He looks up and says, "Oh no! What just happened!"
The Priest says, "Don't worry, you missed him. But I got him with the door!"
Joke # 19 & 20:
Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A. The Dallas Cowboys. (the other 6 are in jail)
Q: What's the difference between a Cowboys fan and a baby?
A. Eventually the baby stops whining.
Joke # 21:
Did you hear Dallas went 12-4, I believe in 1994? Twelve arrests but only four convictions!
Also, they're changing Texas Stadium to natural grass. Dallas plays better on grass!
Wait, that's a mistake. Dallas now plays on dirt, not grass. Leon Lett smoked all the grass and sniffed all the lines!
Joke # 22:
Q. What do the Dallas Cowboys and possums have in common?
A. They both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Joke # 23:
Q. What do Cowboy fans and hemorrhoids have in common?
A. They're both a pain in the butt and never seem to go away completely.
Joke # 24:
Q: What's Jerry Jones biggest concern?
A: Does Bail Money count against the Salary Cap?
Joke # 25:
Q. What do you call a smart football player in Dallas?
A. The opponent.
Joke # 26:
Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police.
Joke # 27:
Three cowboys fans were on their way home after watching their team lose another game. On the way, they came across a sheep with it's head stuck in a fence. one man said, "Man, I'm gonna get some of this."
He began to screw the sheep. He asked if his friend wanted to get some, and he said yes, and he started screwing it.
After he got done, he asked the other friend if he wanted some. The third friend said sure and stuck his head in the fence.
Joke # 28:
Question: Whats the difference between the cowboys and a bag of poop?
Answer: The bag
Joke # 29:
The Dallas Cowboys were practicing at Texas Stadium today when they noticed a white, powdery substance on the field. Practice was halted while the Controlled-Dangerous-Substance (CDS) squad was called in. The CDS squad concluded that the white substance was the goal line. The CDS squad assured the Cowboys that the powder wasn't anything to fear, and advised them that they won't be seeing it anytime this weekend
Joke # 30:
Q. How long did it take for Terrell Owens's Mom to take a dump?
A. 9 Months!
Joke # 31:
I understand Chicago is trying to sign Michael Irvin. They got rid of the refrigerator, so now they want a coke machine.
Joke # 32:
Q. What's the difference between the Taliban and the Dallas Cowboys?
A. The Taliban has a running game!
Joke # 33:
Q: What do you say to a Cowboy in a suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
Joke # 34:
Q: Why does Texas Stadium have Astroturf?
A: To keep the fans from grazing during games.
Joke # 35:
Little Johnny was in his Kindergarten class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, policeman, salesman.
Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes in front of other men."
The teacher hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring in and took little Johnny aside to ask him...
"Is that really true about your father working in a gay strip club?"
"No" said Johnny, "he really plays for the Dallas Cowboys but I was too embarrassed to say."
Joke # 36:
A man is standing on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, threatening to jump. A preacher, who happened to be driving across the bridge at the time stops to try to talk him down.
"My son, don't do it. It's not worth it. Think of all the family and friends you'll leave behind."
The man replies, "My wife left me with the kids and my friends all have turned on me."
The preacher then says, "My son, you have a lot to be thankful for. You're alive. You have your health. You're able to walk."
The man replies, "I've been evicted from my apartment, I have a whole bunch of serious medical issues and I just can't take it anymore."
The preacher now starts to panic. He then says, "My son, the football season is just around the corner. Joe Gibbs is ready to turn the Skins around, Jason Campbell looks to improve upon last season and the defense is in line to bounce back from last year's struggles."
The man replies, "I hate the Skins. I'm a Dallas Cowboys fan!"
The preacher responds, "Well, then go ahead and jump!"
